The #RightToLive

There is a topic trending these days on Twitter – the #RightToBreathe. I was pouring over the opinion of the Twitteratti – it is about different takes on who is responsible for this and how this should be handled. For a moment let me divert from this topic to something little different.

In a corporate environment we are taught about how to bring efficiency. How we go about handling certain tasks that are on priority and move some of them to the bottom of the list? I am talking about the “Eisenhower’s Urgent/Important Principle” where we place the tasks to the four quadrants depending upon their urgency and importance. I had been asked many times – how does it help … which quadrant should we focus upon. My answer has always been “picking up the tasks that are important but not urgent”. The reason is if we procastinate on these Important but Not Urgent tasks there is the likelihood that they will move to the quadrant belonging to Urgent and Important category very soon. This quadrant is the most dangerous one, as these tasks will eventually drain our precious resources and energy.

Now let me go back to my original topic. The situation at hand at New Delhi is resultant of poor planning. Pretty bad situation indeed.

The #RightToBreathe is a situation that rightly fits into that quadrant that is so urgent and important. It is bothering everybody now. Who is to blame? Is it the poor governance or is it that the citizens of independent India are not sensitive enough and doing all things that are not correct for the Environment or the Mother Nature?

It is the culmination of all, everyone should take the blame for this situation and not just the folks at the Raisina Hill.

So where have we failed exactly? In my opinion it is not just one particular area but all possible things that can go wrong have gone so from bad to worse. Why am I saying bad? This had been our state of affairs even when the British left India. The early years post Independence period had been quite a struggle for all. There were challenges galore. The country had been plundered and looted by our erstwhile rulers for decades. The policies that were adopted during pre Independence period were terribly biased towards protecting their own interests. Our forefathers were forced to use the essential commodities – all but made in Great Britain. Our home-grown Steel Industry, Textiles Industry were all left for wanting. Our farmers were not aware of modern ways of cultivation. The green revolution and the industrial revolution could never reach the shores of the Indian subcontinent owing to the apathy shown by our colonial masters. Our farmers weren’t aware of the nuances of cultivation two times per season. The result was that the country faced severe shortage of essential food grains during those days. We needed to import the simplest of the simplest things. The vast majority of the population remained lower middle class.

The political leadership post Independence period was the most confused lot. The policy decisions that were made since then by the successive governments were definitely not to address the long term common good but mostly to protect their seats of power for as long as they could. Our political leadership kept experimenting with Socialistic form of governance assuming that this will reap rich dividend for the country.

Just take a look at the challenges faced by our forefathers during their time – whether it was the ever growing population, or the failing education system, the poverty all around, poor fiscal status of our national treasury, or the lack of integrity in our attitude and last but not the least the looming threat of war with our immediate neighbors. Not much has changed in these seventy years. We are all challenged with bad roads, population that is growing exponentially year after year putting pressure on our natural resources, the ever crumbling infrastructure, the public servants all but eager to extort from the common class at the drop of a hat, an education system that is not producing the best of the talents … too bad. The lucky few who gain entry to the top institutions such as the IITs, IIMs that gets funding from the common public money … a majority of these individuals never really end up serving the country instead preferring greener pastures outside India.

Well, one good thing that has happened is that a large percentage of our population now has suddenly realized that we need to talk more often than before thereby making the cell phone as an essential national commodity these days. Right from that friendly neighborhood vegetable vendor, the known rickshawwalla or that household support staff or even the mason … everyone needs one of these wonder toys.

The Indian Railways is giving free Wi-Fi at major railway stations across India. The last that I heard that Patna junction witnessing the largest internet traffic ever since. If you thought that passengers transiting through this station are doing some serious business with this privilege, then you are wrong. It is about large scale download of porn material.

Well, this has been the state of affairs with us. The general attitude is to make hay when the sun shines, even if it is not morally correct. We take advantage of the loopholes of the systems that are in place such as making money but not pay the taxes, not follow the rules when no one is watching … and the list is endless. So that is about the general attitude of our countrymen, is it so better with our policy makers. As soon as they win the election they consider themselves nothing less that Kings and keep harping for more and more facilities and privileges. Unfortunately they never consider themselves that they are servants of the very general public who had sent these dolts to the temple of democracy. It doesn’t matter which political ideology they belong to, the core attitude remains nearly identical across all political class. We don’t get to see meaningful debates within the policy makers on crucial issues. The opposition opposes each and every policy decision taken by the government making it a constant struggle for the ruling class to conduct business in the house.

The issues that should be accorded “Important but not so Urgent” tag always get pushed to the bottom of the list and thus we see how things change from “bad to worse”. It is fire fighting every time in our nation and our struggle continues.

Right now we are talking about the alarming pollution levels in our nation’s capital New Delhi. It is the Haze everywhere … isn’t it synonymous with the state of affairs of each and every sphere of our life. It is all hazy all around.

I do not intend to finish this write up on too much negative tone. Plenty of good progress also has happened over the last decades. How can we forget the opening up of the country’s economy that lacked the much needed investment? We get to see the very best of the companies eyeing for that pie of the Indian market. Companies like Jaguar Land Rover and Corus getting acquired by Indian business houses is good news for India. India is reckoned as one of the hottest and happening investment destinations. The economy is growing at the pace of 6 to 7 percent and particularly at a time when there is a slump globally. So that is very good indeed. The “Make in India” initiative from the current government seems the right thing and will definitely help develop the domestic industry in a big way. Our space program had been super successful and the space launch industry seems to be growing very well. How can we forget the successful launch of Mangalyaan and India becoming one among the four countries that could put a satellite into Mars’ orbit on its very first attempt? The Light Combat Aircraft is another good example that has been developed with indigenous efforts and those who have seen it say it is world class.

Indian athletes are faring better in International tournaments and making their country proud, is indeed a silver lining for us. However not many parents prefer to risk their children these days taking sports as full time profession – and we are not talking about Cricket alone. So something needs to be done here seriously.

Well, its miles to go … and I am ever optimistic. I dream of a day when our youth need not travel far away from their home states in pursuit of higher education or employment. Be it the farthest corner of the North East or the westernmost corner of Gujarat, from the tip of Jammu and Kashmir or the southernmost point of Kerala – our countrymen deserve to have their fundamental needs fulfilled. No one should be seen as wanting for food, shelter, medical help or basic education.

If not now, then never – we need to shed our old ways of functioning and bring about a change. We owe it to our next generation.

The #RightToLive is our birthright.

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It is the “Natural Frequency” after all.

As soon as the call gets connected, this individual starts blowing hot and cold every time. I followed this trend of conversation with this individual over the last few years and observed that none of the discussion ended with a happy note.

As this individual belongs to my innermost circle of blood relations, naturally I feel concerned about the well being and feel the need to touch base. But each and every time that the call ends, I keep thinking that why the conversation started in the first place. I would eventually dread to speak to this individual again in the future. The whole of the few minutes that we spend talking with each other – I wonder what was lacking. Well, those dreadful few minutes definitely lack tact, warmth, graciousness and mutual respect.

Is it that we have forgotten the natural art of conversation?

Blame it on the “Natural Frequency” of our system. In the common layman’s term “It is the usual and the most natural way that any living or non living being reacts whenever instigated”.

There is a famous animal fable where a scorpion asks a frog to carry it across a river. The frog hesitates, afraid of being stung, but the scorpion argues that if it did so, they would both drown. Considering this, the frog agrees, but midway across the river the scorpion does indeed sting the frog, dooming them both. When the frog asks the scorpion why, the scorpion replies that it was in its nature to do so.

We cannot alter the natural state from which we have been created. But a part of it can be influenced definitely. It is our core belief system that goes through several influences throughout our lifetime. The environment, the neighbors, our education background, our circle of friends, the life partner we choose – all of them reign supreme in shaping this belief system.

Call it “Quantum physics” or “Finite Elements” in scientific terms. All are quite same in the literal sense. Our overall belief system is influenced at the core cellular level and these information are the experiences accumulated over our lifetime. It is believed that the “Universe” gives us back whatever we believe at the “sub conscious” level.

There is an interesting passage that I came across few years back from a book by Robert Fulghum – “In the Solomon Islands in the south Pacific some villagers practice a unique form of logging. If a tree is too large to be felled with an ax, the natives cut it down by yelling at it. Woodsmen with special powers creep up on a tree just at dawn and suddenly scream at it at the top of their lungs. They continue this for thirty days. The tree dies and falls over.

We may dismiss this theory as some superstitious practice, but we may not ignore the powerful message hidden underneath. Words can have so much power and if we fail to choose the right ones, it can break many hearts. We can kill the spirit of a relationship with poor choice of words.

If we keep feeding our conscious mind with loads of falsehood assuming they are true – deep down at the subconscious level one starts believing them as heavenly truth. These thought patterns may become so toxic with passage of time that it may alter the personality altogether. It is necessary to introduce a thorough cleansing of these subconscious level thought patterns from time to time while we evolve.

It is all about the “Law of Attraction”. We manifest what we believe at our deep rooted subconscious level. “Radiate good vibes” – I heard this from a thinker.

A state of higher vibration consciousness attracts positive things in life whereas with lower vibration consciousness we end up attracting the not so pleasant things. Engaging in creative hobbies or physical exercise or keeping good company are some proven methods to help us “Keep in high spirits” and “Raise our Vibrations”.

Like as they say – “Idle Mind is Devil’s Den!” – So never allow the mind to wander as it may be akin to a “Ship without a sail”.

Pressures of Growing up as the Mama’s Goody Boy.

You should not get close to this guy. He drinks.” The parents in the neighborhood would think that this is the perfect way to protect their wards from these social sins. They would cleverly opt for this tactic assuming that the sinners within the neighborhood would never get any closer to their children and spoil them. Stories abound about some distant relations staying in the bigger towns on party ways and as if that was not enough they also “drank” during such occasions. Too bad!

During those days especially the boys were raised with strict code of conduct to ensure a good image in the society. It was not uncommon to see the so called goody boys wearing their shirt fully buttoned up till their chin, have their hair well oiled, combed, flattened, giving a shiny texture, never utter any swear words, do not talk back to the elders in protest and should always be seen immersed in studies. If any of these unfortunate souls were found to have dared to speak with the girls from the neighborhood, well that spelt doom for them instantly. It was so strict.

Those were the unspoken rules though not set on stone by the parents but were considered as minimum set of expectations from their male children. Some of us dared to try the “Beeri” (Indian Cigar) secured from the domestic help or even take a sip of freshly brewed “Toddy” (a kind of palm juice extract) or even curiously turn the pages of some magazine stealthily procured from the road side magazine shops that showed explicit and sensuous content.

Did we ever get caught? Yes indeed on few occasions and were subjected to the severest reprimand from our elders for committing a crime that was nothing less than looting a bank in their eyes. In short anyone daring to deviate from any of these unspoken rules would be branded as going wild and getting spoilt to the core. A total “gone case”!

Parents dreaded from this very possibility, would keep up the vigil and keep the invisible psychological pressure.

Looking back now I feel that the notion of having a clean image was a concept of the parents during those days. They linked their own standing within the society with how their children behaved and how these kids carried themselves in the neighborhood.

It is a different fact that some of these so called spoilt brats during those days are super successful in their lives today. They are living their lives on their own terms and as far as I know most of their body parts are intact and healthy. Many of these folks are super smart and are leading a very contented and happy life. During their growing up years many of these kids from that generation dared to question the status quo often inviting the wrath of the elders during those days. I think most of this rebellious behavior was primarily an act of defiance and to exhibit a deviation from the typical stereotype.

On the other hand those who never dared to try out the “forbidden fruit” grew up as timid personality and are leading a life that is less than ordinary.

I feel this is grossly wrong. How is this tackled in the western countries? Well, firstly this is no big deal in these nations. As the children grow up, the level of interaction between a parent and child changes. The rules of engagement between a parent & adult child is completely different than what is between parent & young child. The parents change their attitude towards their children as they grow up and become more like friends to them.

A boy and a girl can be close buddies and their closeness need not be understood as boyfriend-girlfriend thing. We are seeing a spate of crimes committed against women across the country. I feel that the society as a whole is at fault. It has become too gender biased and especially male centric. During the growing up years it is essential that the boys in the family be allowed the exposure to freely mix with their female friends. This will help them when they grow up to clearly differentiate between “friendship” and “physical intimacy”.

Having resided in western countries for many years myself, I have witnessed how my male western friends would do to woo a prospective female partner. Wooing a female partner is an art that they usually master from their early days and I must say they do it with more finesse and in the most dignified manner. They try to first understand the psyche of the prospective female partner and accordingly plan the next steps to sweep her off her feet with much dignity. Rejection from either side is considered to be part of the process and taken sportingly. Causing physical hurt is something unheard of.

Similarly “smoking”, “drinking”, “swear words” is an individual choice and should be left to the individual when they are grown up adults. I have seen many from my close relations who are grown up adults now and are independent earning professionals but are too shy to let their parents know that they drink or smoke. I feel that the parents of today need to change their mindset. Why should they stop loving if they come to know that the mama’s boy from yesterday has become adventurous in his adulthood – be it a casual smoke or an occasional alcoholic drink? Accept your children when they grow up as they are, instead of judging them for their occasional smoke or drinks. Obviously if someone is indulging too much on these then it naturally is a matter of concern and may need some serious scolding. But having fun and getting drunk occasionally is no big deal.

It is definitely much ado about nothing.

A Letter To My Daughter

Dear Beta,

I have always intended to pen my thoughts reflecting my personal experience of life but could never put them in the right perspective. Let me make an attempt now and share with you something that will give you gentle guidance and help you hang around there for as long as you want and be happy.

Life will offer you with your free will choices and it is up to you which one you take. If you can keep yourself firmly grounded, you will always find yourself on the right path. There are times you may need to choose between known knowns as well as certain amount of known unknowns. These are the times when you need to rely on the values that you are brought up with and take a leap of faith. It will be risk worth taking and you will never regret. Trust your instincts and you will get the divine guidance. The bottom-line here is you need to be deeply rooted to your fundamental values and principles and never compromise on them.

Remember your younger days when you were just learning to walk. You started with baby steps and as parents we felt so proud. You did not learn to walk just like that. You fell down you got up and tried walking again. This is about life. You may not always win. There will be situations where the decisions may not go your way. Never give up, hang in there. All you need to do is to pause for a while, reflect and see if there is anything to learn from that situation. This is vital to your future success.

I always considered our lives like a journey in a train. The train starts from one station and reaches its destined station. There will be many who will embark the train midway this journey and disembark to another station on the way or maybe stick around till the very end. Likewise we meet people during the course of our life’s journey in the form of relations or friends. We lose some of them mid way this journey but some may end up hanging around with us till the lifetime.

How we build our network of relations is crucial to our survival, be it from our blood relations or from the simple acquaintances we make. These individuals need not be from the same age group as yours, but all that is important is how you tend and nurture this friendship.

Are you surprised that it is me who is preaching on this matter? You have reasons to be, as you know that I myself have a very small number of people whom I can call as my pals. I simply keep wondering why I can simply not mix with anyone or everyone under the sky. I personally am a very introverted kind of a person throughout and have always preferred to hang around with people whose wavelength matched with mine. Am I too judgmental? Maybe yes, but this is wrong and I am not too proud of this quality of mine. I am trying to mend on this aspect of mine and it remains a work in progress for me. I am too emotional and a hypersensitive person. You should not follow my example. The wisdom here is that we should never burn the bridge come what may. Within your network of friends and acquaintances there will be some who you are very close and some with whom not so much. I think that is perfectly fine and very natural. The most important part is to not judge anyone when you are very angry or when you are too happy with them. The right people will stick by your side always whenever you need them. Believe me the bigger this core group, the bigger will be your sense of security along the way. You will have a greater sense of falling back on them when you need the most with full trust.

You don’t need to solve the entire world’s problem. But yes, you should show sensitivity of what is going around you and try your best to do something if you can help improve on them. A word of caution here is that you should not draw too much of negative energy on yourself while doing so. You can offer positivity to others and do good to them only when you have sufficient to offer. Do not allow yourself to drain out so much when it starts affecting your life in a negative way. You will know very well when it will be the perfect moment for time out, take a pause and replenish back with the good energies.

Believe in your own karma. The divine will always support you in subtle ways. As they have said, you reap what you have sowed and this is very true. Your mother and I would often discuss that there are so many around us who hardly do any good to others but keep enjoying the rich bounties. I personally feel that this is very karmic. Those who are enjoying the bounties may have done some good deeds in the past and god is kind to them now. But I also believe that it is very human attitude to go astray and start feeling ourselves invincible whenever we are offered the life’s richness. These are the people who start hurting others and do everything possible to make other’s life miserable just because they feel that they are in a better situation. They just forget the simple law of our divine nature – “what goes around – comes around”.

It is essential to inculcate good human qualities. We need to inspire others with our deeds and spread the message of positivity all around. You should be remembered for your deeds and good qualities. You do not need to be religious to get closure to the divine supreme. Be spiritual at heart and believe in the laws of karma. It will always attract the good things for you.

I know you have always asked yourself questions on what you want to do next. It is important to strategize on the next steps in life be it professional or personal. On the professional front you need to fathom the areas of strengths in your nature and then choose the right career path. Do not choose something that you do not personally enjoy. You should have short term and long terms goals on career front. Never hesitate to consult individuals who have the right perspective and experience. Make them your Guru as you go along. There should be clarity in what you are doing and how it is going to help you in your longer terms goals. The early years of your career is vital and will help you build a strong foundation for your future. So make the most of the opportunities that you are offered and learn as much as you can. The harvest you sow in the early years will help you reap the rewards later in your life.

As your parents we will always support you with the choice you make and what makes you happy. We never pressurized you with choices that you did not agree with. Getting good scores in school is good but we never felt that it is too crucial to be successful in life. But we have always emphasized that it is a combination of many things that will make you successful. You have always made us proud in academics. It is the finer human qualities that you develop, the leadership qualities, setting a good example yourself, how you are able to inspire others to bring their best – these are the stuff that will bring you the ultimate success.

We have always allowed you to follow your hunch. Well there are exceptions though. As your father I wanted you to take Guitar lessons as I felt you have it in you. There are times when you feel irritated when I am behind you to practice more. I don’t wish to make it sound hypocritical, but there should be some amount of pressure that will help you with an overall holistic development as an individual. You should develop lot of creative hobbies. These are going to help you enjoy the richness of life. As parents your ma and I have always felt proud with your accomplishments. Be it your academics or your hobby ideas, you have always shown the hunger for learning. I always admire your quest in creative aspects such as cooking, baking, writing, public speaking – so keep it up.

Believe in the “Law of attraction” – positive attracts positive. So keep practising your craft and try to remain positive. Do not invest too much in negative aspects rather be positive and manifest only the best. Do not get carried away during the good times, at the same time try to remain calm and cool under trying circumstances.

Believe in yourself, take pride on your personal principles and values, have confidence and know who you are. Do the things that you feel right.

Take regular vacations and recharge your batteries. Exercise regularly and eat the right stuff. There is no harm in indulging in the bad stuff occasionally though.

Enjoy the bounties that the Mother Nature has to offer. Explore new places and the cultures.

Don’t follow the trend.

You are destined to create many beautiful things in life. Sky is the limit for you.

With lots of love and blessings from your Papa.

Mouth Ulcers – Sore Spots

Those mystery little spots in the mouth can be so annoying and once these appear it takes days to disappear. These can be so bothersome that some of us end up skipping the usual meals at times. Well, I can vouch that there are other ways to lose weight if given an option.

These painful blisters can appear on the soft tissues inside the mouth – usually on the cheeks, lips & on the tongue and may take days to heal. Studies have suggested that nearly 20% of the world population suffers from this ailment at certain stages in their lives.

The objective of this article is to just chronicle the personal experience of the author and share with others. I would attempt to avoid clinical terms related to these occurrences and rather focus on remedies that have provided benefits. I have consulted many medical professional over the years and my experience suggests that not enough practical knowledge is available within the fraternity. Have tried several over-the-counter medications but cannot be so sure if they have provided a lasting relief. I realized that long terms beneficial results can be derived only by a combination of life style changes rather than depend on the over-the-counter medicines. A caveat here is that there is no magic pill as a solution for all ailments.

So where do we start? The first step is to get a better understanding of our own medical history and then consider the future remedial measures.

WARNING: One should consider taking expert medical advice if the situation warrants the need and do not resort to the over-the-counter medications.

The very first occurrences of these sore spots that I experienced were during my early childhood days. I never felt too bothered as the spots would usually vanish the very next day. What about my own medical history? I had suffered from Jaundice twice in rapid succession when I was roughly ten years old. It had taken few months for me to recover on both the occasions. My parents suspected that the disease may have played some tricks with the usual functioning of the liver. My senior school days were rather event free with these sore spots only occasionally appearing on the soft surfaces of the cheeks. I would be prescribed medication consisting of vitamin B complex along with vitamin B substances and folic acid. Subsequently I went for higher studies and stayed in hostel accommodations. Those were the carefree days where I felt liberated from the strict restrictions that were imposed at home. All that I was bothered were the class projects and I ended up burning the midnight oil for several days without caring too much about the food I consumed. The semester end exams were definitely stressful. Nonetheless health-wise I seldom felt so challenged that demanded expert medical attention during these years. Occasionally though I suffered from severe stomach gastric cramps that were attributed primarily to poor bowel movement habits and consumption of refined wheat flour products and the lack of dietary fibres.

Turning over another chapter in my life, I got my first job upon completion of my higher studies. It was a completely a different ball game now. Life was no longer that carefree as earlier. I was enjoying my work. But the biggest challenge I felt was the interpersonal relationship aspect at the workplace and in the neighborhood where I lived. This place was far away from my native. It was a complete culture shock for me dealing with people around me on a daily basis and I must say that I wasn’t prepared for that. The sore spots were back into my life with a significantly higher level of severity. I realized that the nature of stress that I was experiencing during this time was altogether different than what I had ever before.

I continue having these spots till this day with the difference that they appear not just on the cheek but on the lips, tongue, gums and even on the cavity surfaces. These take quite a lot of time to heal and taking spicy food aggravate the pain further. That continually painful burning sensation in the mouth can be so traumatic that it takes a toll on someone’s health physically and mentally.

Well that’s all about my sob story. Let me not add anything further but discuss the remedial measures hereafter.

I have observed that prior to the appearances of these bothersome spots inside my mouth, I go through a bout of constipation. Constipation that extends beyond few days is the first alarm bell for this perennial issue. Let me take an example of a car that gets its energy from gasoline fuel. What happens if something goes wrong with the exhaust system? The emitting gases can be harmful to the environment. Don’t expect a good mileage from this car in such a situation. Now you will be wondering what might be the relationship between this and our body. Well, the analogy is simple.

The first and foremost the bowel movement habit has to be fixed. This is fundamental to improving the recurrence of these bothersome sores. Why so? If we do not expel the toxic waste material produced by our body they may get reabsorbed by our system. It is essential that we expel them on time every time. The bowel movement habit can be disturbed due to a combination of several things. It can be lack of fibre rich food in our daily diet. At the very first onset of stressful circumstance in our lives there is a direct impact in our gut flora. The food travelling through our gut system gets digested and is broken down to allow the essential minerals and vitamins get absorbed by our system. This is helped by the presence of bacteria that make the intestine their home. Some of these are good and some are not so good for our system. Our endeavor should be to maintain a healthy gut system. We need to add probiotic substance in our daily diet. Probiotic contain certain microorganism that helps maintaining a good gut flora. It can be in the form of yogurt, curd or a over-the-counter probiotic pill prescribed by a certified medical practitioner. If any of you consider taking probiotic pills from time to time, suggest not having it for too long a duration. The primary goal should be to allow the body parts to function well naturally. The probiotic pills taken for few days will help improve your gut flora then you should give a break and allow your system to work naturally. At times we may need to take over-the-counter laxatives to help with the bowel movement. Adding leafy green vegetables in our daily diet is extremely important in helping with the bowel habits. It has been observed that those following a sedentary lifestyle suffer from this ailment more often, so taking regular exercise helps.

Are we drinking enough water? I am a poor water drinker myself. It is typical in our busy work schedule when we tend to forget to drink enough water. Usually the water content in the food passing through our intestines gets absorbed leading to hardening of the stools and difficult to pass. If we keep ourselves hydrated throughout the day, the excess water helps softening of our stools that is easier to pass.

Let us now understand if the liver is functioning as it is supposed to. The liver and the gall bladder work together to digest the food we take. The liver helps in processing of the food, helps us in detoxification of the chemicals and production of protein elements that are essential for miscellaneous functions of our body. There are times when I have taken help of homeopathy with beneficial results. Combination drops of Chellidonium 30 and Hydrastis 30 diluted in a half a cup of water taken for a few days may be helpful.

The next stage would be to understand if the body is getting the right dose of vitamins from the food that we are taking, particularly the B12 family of vitamins. I was advised to take a blood test to ascertain deficiency of Vitamin B12 and subsequently was prescribed Vitamin B12 shots (4 shots spanned over a month). Zinc and Iron deficiency may also lead to these occurrences. So tests should be conducted to confirm this and medication taken thereafter after consulting a doctor.

I was talking about stress. In the times that we live today, we cannot avoid this. This is a hard fact that I have realized after so many years. Our response to any stressful circumstance is entirely influenced by how we are brought up right from our early learning phases of life. Some of us respond to these situations in a fashion that is matured and move on without much sulking. People who are of introverted nature suffer the most as their response to these circumstances makes them stressed out. This is where we need to undertake certain lifestyle changes. Yoga, pranayama, breathing exercises and other forms of physical movements help us greatly. This is serious business. We need to ensure to have sufficient sleep during the night. Homeopathy remedy – four pills of Kali Phos 6x taken three or four times per day for a week helps improving the anxiety levels in our body. This is a well known tissue salt that helps in balancing our sleep pattern. We should never resort to popping sleeping pills as we may end up making it a habit.

What do we do once these sore spots appear?

Well, I have tried different things at different times.

  1. As soon as I realize that a spot is about to appear, I take Homeopathy Remedy – Merc Sol. 200 (2 drops twice a day for five days).
  2. I keep a tube of Dologel CT (manufactured by Dr. Reddy’s Lab) always handy. This works as an anesthetic agent to reduce the pain and also has antiseptic properties to help heal. It can burn initially when applied to the sore.
  3. Homeopathy remedy – few drops of Nux Vom 30 taken roughly three to four times a day for a couple of days has helped me ease from constipation problem.
  4. Avoid commercially available mouthwash and instead brush your teeth as often as possible. Rinsing the mouth with lukewarm salt water prevents the bacteria to settle inside the mouth and helps with the healing process.
  5. Rinsing the mouth with clarified butter (ghee) helps relieving the pain and healing.
  6. I am told that rinsing with gingelly oil also helps, but I have never tried myself.
  7. Add beetroot and green leafy (spinach) salad in your daily diet.
  8. Take lots and lots of water – stay hydrated.
  9. Having Amla (Indian Gooseberry) in any form on a daily basis helps.
  10. One of my homeopathy doctors used to give a single dose of Sulphuric Acid (Q) whenever I visited him. It worked miraculously and the bothersome spots disappeared the very next day.
  11. Another remedy that I felt helpful is Salt Water Flush of the Colon – also known as Colon Cleansing usually done once a month. It detoxifies the entire gastro-intestinal tract and balances the pH level. Access this Article. Demonstration of Salt Water Flush.
  12. Sole Water: In our busy lifestyle of these days we hardly get the essential natural minerals elements into our system. Drinking Sole Water everyday morning can be a very good habit for the entire family. This helps compensate for the essential minerals into our body. Access the article here.

I will keep adding to this as and when I find something new. I am hoping that you find this material useful.

You may leave your comments if there is anything new on this subject so that others suffering from this ailment get benefited.

Wait for your turn – behave yourself.

Whoa, eeeeh … I could not have reacted differently while driving my car on my way to the office in the morning with my daughter who was to be dropped to her college. Our car was few vehicles away at this traffic signal and we were patiently waiting for the green light to turn on. There was no space left on either side of my car on my lane to accommodate any other vehicle. The opposite lane was clear to allow the oncoming traffic. All of a sudden to our disbelief a guy with his car turns up from nowhere from the wrong side, overtaking me just to be on the front-line near the traffic signal. My natural reaction was to sound out to this not so gentleman for this impolite gesture. Well this is something not uncommon on the roads in this part of the world. Most often this leads to higher stress level while driving. Those who follow the rules meticulously and knowing that their personal space had just been violated, they can do little about it. It is frustrating how these dolts can do anything like this and still get away? A closer look at these traffic junctions and you will find other motorists trying to follow a similar trend. Everybody wants to overtake the other creating a snarl of sort and naturally slowing down the traffic at these junctions. We never realize that all will be served better if we simply follow the lane discipline and wait for our turn to move ahead. Why can’t we wait for our turn? Well, with the exception of some emergency situation, it is this “me first and I do not care after me” attitude is so impolite and unforgivable.

I am reminded of an incident during one of my first official trips to Europe, I was asked to take driving classes from a nearby driving school. I knew how to drive, but before allocating an official car to me my boss wanted to ensure that my behavior behind the steering wheel doesn’t become a concern to the other fellow motorists. I started my test and I must confess that I was pretty nervous. After a few miles of driving my instructor brought to my attention the pile up of vehicles behind me. I realized that in my pursuit of following the traffic rules in an unfamiliar country, I had become too cautious and was negotiating the turns very slowly. My driving instructor asked me to take the car aside to a lonely stretch of the road. In the next half an hour he shared with me some vital lessons on driving etiquette that I consider as invaluable even after so many years. His simple advice was that while I am enjoying behind the steering wheel, the other fellow motorists on the road have equal right to enjoy as well and I should not do anything untoward to cause annoyance to them.

This “me first” attitude is evident in every aspect of our day-to-day lives if we take as a matter of analogy. Look at our pedagogy system for instance. The performance in education is judged based on percentage scores. While the scores are important, our academic institutions ignore the necessity of a core value system from that tender age. The values imparted – are they good enough to help the kids cope with the challenges that life will throw at them when they grow up. The attitude of competing is pushed into our psyche from an early childhood as if it is a rat race to get ahead of others. If we remove that element of “competing” and instead focus on the spirit of “co-learning”, the entire learning process becomes more holistic.

Another example of this “me first” attitude too evident in our everyday work places almost anywhere in the world. In the quest of getting ahead of you, often you will find colleagues sweet talking on your face, but sharing a completely opposite picture regarding you at places that matter. These individuals will spend a major portion of their energies to analyze the weakness of their colleagues in order to show them in poor light instead of letting their own work performance do the talking. To climb up the growth ladder most often people with such mindset find this as the easier route by leaning on their colleagues and bring them down at any opportune moment. In today’s so called cut throat competitive world this is one of the major reasons for our work place stress. The onus is on the supervisors who should create the environment of “co-league”, “co-learning” and “co-existence” instead of focusing solely on the work and creating an island of their own.

The true meaning of “co existence” or “living together in harmony” is all about caring and sharing with each other. This is a habit that should be inculcated from the very early learning days.

What is your take on this, my dear? Do you feel the same way? If yes, then leave your comments in the box below.

Earn your respect and don’t demand it.

“Just because you are older, doesn’t mean you deserve respect. Respect is earned and not given.” I stumbled upon these words of wisdom few days back. Words so powerful such as these, kept on ringing in my mind that I decided to weave a story around it.

Those were the days when confronting the elders in the family were not considered to be so courteous. You simply cannot talk back to them even if you are convinced they are on the wrong. Having drawn up the courage of doing so, you end up being the outcast for the next few weeks within the family. In majority of the situations youngsters were asked to stay out whenever serious discussions were underway between the elders within the family. In that scenario how would you have your concerns be heard and make the decision making process all inclusive? A youngster always remained a youngster and the rules of engagement remained unchanged even when he or she is fully grown up while facing any important decision at a later stage of life. When I looked around in my neighborhood during those days the situation was somewhat similar among my age group. You don’t wish to be the conflict or be part of a conflict, so be silent and sulk.

Is this what we call “the generation gap”? The social norms are changing and we need to continually keep pace with them. Confrontation does not necessarily mean lack of love and bonding, but on the contrary it is just the opposite.

I feel we should encourage our younger generation to participate in the decision making process within the family. We should allow them to contribute with their own point of view and life experiences. Our fundamental approach should be that of a “neglected supervision”. The essence here is to step aside and let the youngsters go with their own decisions from a very early age. By allowing them to make mistakes and learning from them, they grow up as mentally tougher human beings. They will have more confidence in their own conviction and be fearless and courageous whenever they face their own share of life challenges.

In a work environment we speak about different approaches of Leadership. The idea of “leadership and management” is often misunderstood by most of us whenever we are in a position of power. We take it for granted that we will be respected just because we are in a leadership position. It is often “your way or the highway”. We impose our own views by drawing the lines and expect the others to follow. But in reality does it work?
I do agree that certain situations warrant us to be firm in order to get a job done but generally we should strive to get the buy in. Getting the “buy in” is a tough ask. But once done, it creates a win-win for all. It is half the battle won. Here you are confronted with an individual who agrees with you and understands your rationale. He or she stands a better chance to willfully complete the task and be willing to be part of your team in the future as well. On the contrary, you may force someone to accomplish a task who is unwilling to do so till that point of time. He or she may eventually do it but may not be willing to be part of your team in the future. So in a short term you may win but in the longer term you end up losing the battle.

The choice is ours. We need to create an environment of “agree to disagree”. This is vital to a thriving team approach. This approach is applicable irrespective of whether it is within the family environment or in a work setup. The rules of engagement are universal.